


Out of Time:Or the Tale of Hiccup and Toothless and the Curse of Berk

by Thursday26



Series: Gothic [1]
Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), race to the edge - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, Toxic relationship (not hicctooth), cursed!Berk, dark!Berk, gothic inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-08 06:11:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17975954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thursday26/pseuds/Thursday26
Summary: Set after the events of HTTYD 2 (no HTTYD 3 spoilers)Grounding Hiccup is a curse.#OoT26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so i wrote this when i was taking a gothic literature class and a lot of the tropes and style really spoke to me, so this is the product of that... has a few chapters
> 
> if you're unaware of common gothic elements, they include (but are not limited to, because there are also like... mazes and secret tunnels) people being withe the wrong people and the heartache that comes with that, supernatural elements and personality changes... so this may seem a little odd for the characterisations
> 
> also this is my response to HTTYD 3 (even tho it was written long before i even watched the movie), which i was pleasantly disappointed in and have decided to reject certain elements (because i actually like a lot of the characters and some of the development). But really, this is my own personal thing and you in no way have to agree with me . we can always agree to disagree, but i'm gonna keep on keeping on with this
> 
> heed the tags because idk if this story will be for everyone! 
> 
> also just as a heads up... there is hiccstrid in there, but non-explicit and you'll see why later on
> 
> Oh! btw this is a dark!Berk (and i also want to fully disclose that this is no way that vikings actually acted, esp in regards to women, i am well aware of this fact, but i have created my own little world and it is much more dramatic and therefore better for my angst :) )
> 
> i was really unsure on how to tag this so just let me know 
> 
> Alternate title: "A Hictooth Gothic Romance, told in nine parts"

This… 

This is not what Hiccup wanted. 

This is everything that Hiccup feared. 

Things on Berk have changed so much over the years; from the acceptance of dragons into everyday life, to Hiccup taking up the mantle of chief after Stoick’s untimely death. Stoick  _tried_  to teach Hiccup everything he needed to be a proper chief, when he was still alive, but Hiccup avoided those lessons as often as he could, much to Stoick’s annoyance. Hiccup knew that being chief would eventually be inevitable, but he always thought there would be  _ time _ to learn. That there would be a few more years that he could skive off the lessons before he had to crack down and learn. One thing that has definitely changed is that Hiccup knows that there is no promise of time anymore. And that time marches on whether or not he wants it to, that the future will always one day become the present. 

There’s also the part of Hiccup that didn’t want to be chief. That  _ doesn’t  _ want to be chief. Growing up, Hiccup has always thought of the job as boring, filled with too many responsibilities. Responsibility isn’t a bad thing, no, not at all, but Hiccup never wanted the ones that came with being chief. Hiccup wanted to explore the furthest corners of the world, to learn everything about any dragon that he came across. He wanted to fly through the air, one with the wind, and bring back information to help Berk continue to grow. 

But… life doesn’t work that way. Stoick died, leaving a massive hole to fill in Berk. Everyone turned to Hiccup for guidance, needing that stability after such a terrible loss. Hiccup’s appointment came sooner than anyone expected, but being chief is what he’d been trained for. Or… that’s what everyone thought he’d been trained for. 

It’s not like Hiccup hasn’t led before, and led successfully. He’s led the Riders on the Edge for years. Berk is different though. Both Berk and the Edge have their issues, but those issues are different, almost diametrically opposed. The Edge was filled with soldiers. They lived on an outpost and had to be prepared for attack or battle at any moment. Each person had their role, and each filled their role. Their numbers were low, resources weren’t as plentiful, and they watched each other’s back. Not doing so out there could mean death. Berk, on the other hand, is safe, and there is more money and resources. Most of the citizens are warriors, but they aren’t prepared to fight at a moment’s notice like they were expected to on the Edge. They have plans and contingencies in place in case of attack, but a lot of those plans involve moving the non-warrior classes to safety, and there are strategies built around protecting the vulnerable. And, because of the resources and the amount of people, most Berkians assume that they are safe. 

That feeling of safety breeds a troublesome focus on trivial matters that Hiccup never had to deal with before. Not directly at least. Stoick always complained about the trivial stuff, but Hiccup never understood just  _ how _ trivial the problems could be. And, somehow, these trivial matters always,  _ always  _ appear to require input from the chief. Dealing with these matters leaves Hiccup with no free time. 

It started off as annoying and tedious, dealing with his chiefly duties. Then it turned into a nightmare. There have been a couple of times that Hiccup has been needed on dragonback, but for the most part, Hiccup has had both feet firmly on the ground. Hiccup’s wondered how he hasn’t grown roots with how heavy his steps feel. 

Astrid took over flying Toothless for a while, near the start, to make sure that he got the exercise he needed. It wasn’t enough. Astrid had other duties and she had to care for Stormfly as well. Toothless never complained and never imposed longer than he needed to, but Hiccup could always tell that Toothless was itching to spread his wings for a little bit longer. Hiccup wasn’t too concerned when he started noticing that Astrid couldn’t provide for Toothless’ needs (after all the needs of a Night Fury and a Nadder are quite different), and Hiccup never blamed her. In fact, he thought that routine would only last for a few weeks at most. Then things would settle down, Hiccup would fall into his role, and then he could get into the air again.

Gods… he was wrong. He was  _ so wrong _ . It’s been over half a year. Six months of being stuck on the ground. Two painful months since Toothless has worn his saddle.

Two months ago, Hiccup re-did Toothless’ solo tailfin, so Toothless could get his exercise. So… so Toothless wouldn’t be so dependent on Hiccup anymore. Toothless didn't like it, but he had his own responsibilities as Alpha. Hiccup didn’t realize how much Toothless was neglecting those responsibilities until he was able to do it without Hiccup on his back. Hiccup has felt guilty ever since. 

Toothless tried to convince Hiccup that there’s nothing to feel guilty about: the dragons would have settled eventually. It didn’t help. The guilt never lifted. Hiccup never, ever wanted to be what kept Toothless from being the best leader he could be. He wanted to lift Toothless, support him. After all, Toothless has only been supportive in everything Hiccup has done, from terrifying engineering experiments to blindfolds in the midst of battle. Hiccup wants to return that support, in any way that he can manage. 

The guilt, though, isn’t the worst part of Toothless regaining his mobility. Since Toothless has been able to move on his own, Hiccup doesn’t get to see his best friend anymore. Their lives move at entirely different paces now, and that cold, hard reality is what breaks his heart. Toothless is always leaving early in the morning, before Hiccup needs to wake up, and coming back late at night, after Hiccup has already gone to sleep. The only evidence that Toothless comes home at all are the fresh ashes Hiccup cleans off Toothless’ slab in the morning. 

They haven’t slept together in months.

Hiccup misses the warmth from his best friend. The nights are always too cold without Toothless wrapped around him. He wonders if Toothless misses him at all. 

Not being able to see Toothless breaks his heart into a million pieces, but the news from the council today has been enough to freeze the blood in his veins. The men on the council have approved Hiccup a wife. 

Hiccup didn’t even know they were  _ looking  _ for a wife for him. According to his council, the chief needs to marry within a year of taking the mantle, to secure the bloodline for Berk. Hiccup was unaware of this rule. Maybe Stoick mentioned it at some point, but Hiccup can’t remember. 

Another stab of pain goes through him with the wish that he’d just listened to Stoick. Valka fought against the council’s decision, but she doesn’t have much sway with anyone in Berk. Especially the older men. Most of the older men were almost  _ offended  _ that Valka even voiced her opinion. A few were horrified that she even opened her mouth. 

Gods… this council. 

Hiccup has had his hands full dealing with these old, stubborn men. They cling to tradition, wanting to move Berk back to “better days.” Whatever that means. Oh, and the realization that a majority of the council despises the dragons has left a bitter taste in Hiccup’s mouth. From what Hiccup understands, the only reason they don’t voice their opinions on dragons is because popular opinion amongst the Berkians is that dragons are good. Hiccup knows that they’re waiting for the perfect moment to demonize the dragons and turn popular opinion into fear. Every accidental fire or small scratch left by a young dragon has been treated like the wrath of the gods has descended upon Berk. Hiccup would find it hilarious if it wasn’t so stressful to make the men focus on  _ real _ issues. Did Stoick have to deal with this? 

Hiccup takes a deep breath and prepares himself for another uphill battle. He doesn’t want to marry anyone. He can’t quit. He can’t give up. 

Not yet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> make sure to leave kudos and comments! I really want to hear what you guys think! 
> 
> Again! find me on [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/_Thursday_26)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How did this happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i feel like i need to make a disclaimer, i don't have a Notp. I am a multishipper, but the nature of this story demands something very dramatic and what might seem OOC. But... it may come across that I hate the hiccstrid ship, which isn't true. There is... explicit implications? that they're together... i'll leave more specific stuff at the end to warn you guys because this defeinitely might not be your cup of tea, and that is perfectly fine . I would consider these trigger warnings as well. This fic gets pretty dark and sad (trust me, there is a happy ending)
> 
> also, the chapters are weird lengths, so idk any sort of posting scehdule, but it won't be like the other stuff i write lol

How…

How did his life turn into this? 

He fought  _ so hard _ , swore he would never waver, never give up. But… he couldn’t win. Now, years later, Hiccup has to wonder if he gave up, or if the council truly won. 

It’s been  **_years_ ** . When are those men going to retire? But (and it kills him to admit it) Hiccup can’t blame the council entirely for the predicament that he’s in. He is the chief; he should be able to stand up for himself. He failed at that, though. He failed so miserably. 

Everything in his life is  _ wrong _ . He hasn’t been able to fly in a year, and before that time, he was only in the air once or twice. And only ever long enough to get a taste of what he was missing out on. Those couple times Hiccup has been in the air, the council were in an uproar. They prefer to have their chief firmly on the ground. Hiccup doesn’t know how Stoick dealt with them, since he was in the air more than Hiccup’s been in the air in years. The council has succeeded on keeping Hiccup grounded. Hiccup wonders why they didn’t just plant him in Gothi’s garden. Maybe it’s too close to the sky for them. 

Nothing feels right anymore. This wrongness has filled Hiccup with bitter resentment and that  _ wrongness _ has changed so much about Hiccup that he doesn’t know who he is anymore. Or who he ever once was. Any love Hiccup had for his village, for his people, for his station, has turned to bile. Any love or affection he may have felt for his wife has turned sour. 

Astrid has done nothing to warrant the the hatred he feels when he looks at her. It isn’t her fault they ended up like this. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s Hiccup’s. He has power in the village. Sure, they tried to start some sort of romance on the Edge, and it felt like it would work out for them, but that bright flame of early romance faded into the warmth of a platonic love. They stayed friends after their breakup, closer than they ever were before they courted, and infinitely more comfortable around one another. Hiccup  _ loved _ Astrid as a friend; she’s smart, strategic, an amazing fighter, and a loyal friend. Hiccup was lucky to have her on his side. He shouldn’t hate her so much…

...but it’s not like she doesn’t hate him right back. 

Weeks before the council announced their betrothal (and isn’t that awful? She didn’t know either), Astrid had started a promising relationship with another person. Off-island. She assured him that night she came to him, flushed and with a bright smile. She was so excited for this new romance, what it could turn into. In that moment, when all those hard edges that Astrid always carries around melted away, Hiccup knew that they’d made the right decision to stay friends. He knew that he could never have made her that happy, and he was excited she had someone who made her smile like that. Astrid hasn’t shared who this person was, wanting to let the relationship bloom a little more before she bragged about it--her words, but she promised Hiccup that he’d be one of the first people to know when it got more serious. Hiccup had an idea of who that person was, but he let Astrid keep her secret, excited to have that shared with him some day in the future. 

Then the council happened. 

Astrid couldn't refuse the betrothal. No one would reject marrying the chief. It would have shamed her entire family for a few generations. Hiccup hated watching her face fall at the announcement, and the apologetic look her had to give her because he couldn’t do anything else. He doesn’t know what’s worse, the council not telling him, or not telling the prospective bride about the betrothal before making it official. 

Hiccup tried a little harder to fight after that, when he found out she was just as blindsided as he was, but the council had gotten really good at stepping all over him. Hiccup didn’t see Astrid until after she had to tell her secret person about the betrothal. From how wrecked Astrid was for weeks, Hiccup guesses that the news didn’t go over so well for her secret person. 

Then they were married. And things continued to go downhill from there. 

Hiccup glares at her from across the room. Gods, he hates her, and he can’t remember hating someone so wholly before. Not even his dislike for Viggo came close. Nor Drago. How did it get this bad? They were okay at the start, they were still friends. Now he can barely bring himself to worry about her whenever she goes into battle. The hatred hasn’t gotten to the point where he wishes that she’ll die, but he’s pretty sure that rock bottom isn’t too far off. And he knows the longer he stares at her, the more likely that hideous thought will infect his mind. 

He rips his glare from Astrid and focuses on the stone slab tucked into the corner of the room. Hiccup hasn’t seen Toothless in days, and there haven’t been any fresh ashes to clean for longer. Toothless has been coming home less and less. Hiccup misses him; he misses talking to him, he misses those green eyes, he misses those soft chirring sounds he would make. Hiccup’s heart twists in his chest. He misses Toothless  _ so much _ . 

There’s part of Hiccup that’s scared to talk to Toothless again. It’s been so long, and his Dragonese is a little rusty. Another flare of hatred rushes through him. Astrid works at the Academy, every day, with Stormfly, in the air. He hates her for it. 

Beyond the Toothless-shaped hole in his heart, the absolute worst thing is that Hiccup can’t stand to look at his own child. His own son. There was a huge celebration to welcome the new Hope and Heir to Berk, but Hiccup couldn’t have cared less. Astrid takes care of him most of the time, but Hiccup can tell she doesn’t care for their son much either. She’s doing everything she’s expected to do, but she’s just going through the motions of childcare. Hiccup can’t bring himself to care. He just thanks the gods that they had a son first. Now he doesn’t have to touch Astrid again. The last time was more than enough. 

A pang of sadness cuts through the bitter hatred swirling inside him. What would Stoick say if he saw Hiccup like this? 

At least Valka loves the kid, spoiling him and introducing him to Cloudjumper and any other dragon that she can. Hiccup can’t be around her when she starts introducing the boy to the dragons. Somehow there are always new facts about the dragons and it makes Hiccup want to throw up. Valka gets to work with Cloudjumper and satiate her curiosity without reproach and Hiccup feels like he’s been buried alive. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings:  
> \--Hiccup hates Astrid, for very specific reasons, but there is no violence towards her in any form (other than dark thoughts, but nothing specific)., This is a highly toxic relationship!!  
> \--Hiccup hates their son, so maybe some triggering stuff there  
> \--Depression? i would maybe classify this as? 
> 
> Make sure to leave a comment and a kudos! I love hearing what you guys think :) 
> 
>  
> 
> [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/_Thursday_26)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's going on with Toothless?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okie dokie! now for some "what's going on with Toothless?" bits! just a warning, this is going to hurt your heart. It hurt mine at least. 
> 
> 1\. Sorry
> 
> 2\. I'm really sorry 
> 
> again, this is all my own personal thing. You definitely don't have to agree with me on any of this. 
> 
> Oh, and it was an accident I swear

Toothless doesn’t understand humans. He’s never fully understood them, no matter how much time he’s spent around them. 

He understood Hiccup, but as far as he can tell, Hiccup is not a normal human, so a bad indicator for what to expect with the average Viking. No. He  _ knows _ that Hiccup isn’t normal. Hiccup is special. Special beyond anything Toothless can articulate. Toothless can feel it in his soul. Hiccup was… always something else. He filled Toothless’ heart so wholly that now there is nothing that can fill that space his absence has created. And all the dragons know it. 

Not much gets past dragons, beyond some interactions or rules that are so inherently  _ human _ that the dragons have no basis to understand them. They don’t miss much, not with their heightened sense of smell and the use of pheromones. Humans use pheromones more than they realize, but they lack the senses to recognize it like the dragons can. So Toothless could smell something on Hiccup, something that was reaching, yearning and in pain, when Hiccup had to fit him with the solo tailfin. Something broke in Toothless’ chest that day as well. He wanted nothing more than to stay at Hiccup’s side, but he did have his own responsibilities. 

Those first few solo flights felt wrong. He felt too light, like he was missing something that he needed to fly, yet he was still airborne. It felt like being in the air was unnatural, like he was flying without his wings. He couldn’t focus on those feelings at the time though. The dragons needed their Alpha, so he stepped up. 

The dragons’ need for him was not particularly crucial. Mostly he settled grudge matches and small territory disputes between hard-headed dragons. Shockingly, Hookfang was not one of these dragons. The influx of new, wild dragons had created tensions between the Nest dragons and the Berkian dragons that took some time to settle. Hookfang was so helpful during this time, acting closely behind him and offering some height for the dragons that were a little too stubborn to accept Toothless’ rulings. Toothless never used his force-will against them. He hates it. 

At the start of Toothless stepping up as Alpha, things were weird, but they were good. Things were getting settled smoothly amongst the dragons and Toothless was able to get home every night. Hiccup was always sleeping by the time Toothless crawled into the bedroom. Toothless didn’t like it, missing his Hiccup every night, but Hiccup always looked so tired, like he really needed the rest, so Toothless left him be. Mostly. He made sure to give Hiccup a nuzzle every night before he curled up on his slab for some well-earned rest. The nuzzling was a small gesture, to reapply Toothless’ scent to Hiccup. The humans couldn’t smell it, but the other dragons could. And also, it would heal his heart a little bit with that small touch. He’d do it in the morning before he left, too. 

Then… Hiccup got married, and that was a ballista straight through the heart. Had… had Toothless misread Hiccup’s feelings? He must have (and wasn’t  _ that  _ realization like swallowing down a bundle of oleander) because he looked happy enough with Astrid. At least at the start of their union. Toothless stopped nuzzling Hiccup after their wedding night. A few days after the wedding, Toothless’ slab was moved to the main room of the house. Stormfly slept in the stables. 

Toothless gave the new couple their space, as much as he could. And it didn’t hurt too much. It didn’t. The only thing that hurt was the gaping hole in his heart where Hiccup belonged. It only hurt when he breathed, but Toothless pushed through. He hung around Hiccup, to try and ease the ache in his heart. It kind of worked, until Toothless started to smell the pregnancy. And it was too much.

He stopped coming back at night. He couldn’t be in the same house. Besides, it’s rude to inhabit a nest a couple is trying to build. Toothless was raised better than that. Although, he wasn’t, because he did go back sometimes. Those times… he was weak. He needed to be close to Hiccup. What would his ancestors say? He just… he  _ needed _ to smell Hiccup again. Not in passing, like he does all the time around Berk, but he needed the scent that’s embedded into the homestead, through the floorboards and the blankets. Astrid’s scent started to intermingle with Hiccup’s, and Toothless could push past it to get the Hiccup smell. Now, there’s the scent of human offspring. It’s a full nest now, and Toothless is not welcome anymore.

That doesn’t stop him from sneaking in sometimes, but it’s less healing now. 

Of all the dragons, Hookfang has been the most supportive. He lets Toothless stay with him in the stables and listens to him cry. They’ve been around each other often enough that their scents are starting to combine. The other dragons have started to talk, chirring suggestively and purring when they can. But Toothless can’t… he can’t… it’s not fair to Hookfang when all Toothless wants is his rider. Hookfang understands, and doesn’t push, but he has given Toothless the option. 

Is it wrong that Toothless has started to consider it? 

Hiccup’s offspring is in his second summer already. The bond between Hiccup and Toothless was never fortified, so their separation never should have cut Toothless so deeply. He should have grieved and moved on, but he hasn’t been able to. All he does is grieve for the relationship that he lost with Hiccup. And he’s been dragging his feet about Hookfang. That isn’t fair to him. Hookfang is nice enough… he’s strong, brave, and he has proven himself to care for Toothless time and time again. Sometimes, Hookfang is the only thing keeping Toothless from shattering into pieces. 

Is Toothless considering Hookfang because their experiences are so similar? Well, not exactly similar, but they were both abandoned by their riders. Snotlout… Snotlout isn’t a bad guy. Or he wasn’t while he was out on the Edge. He stayed stationed on Berk to help Hiccup at the start, a noble cause, but the Jorgenson patriarch started to get into the boy’s head. And, before anyone really noticed what was going on, Snotlout was married to a girl much too young for him, and Hookfang was getting pushed out. Hookfang tried to help Snotlout fight his father, but Snotlout wouldn’t have it. Hookfang couldn’t bear to see one of his closest friends like that, so he left. At least, that’s the story Hookfang’s told Toothless. The pain in his voice when he told him speaks to something that Hookfang didn’t agree to, something that pains Hookfang even years later. 

Astrid has taken over care for Hookfang, not that he needs much anyway. She keeps his stall tidy and makes sure that he gets outside at least once a day. It’s been harder to get him outside with Snotlout’s new offspring out with its mother. He does not wish to see it. The other dragons have been avoiding Hookfang recently, partially because Hookfang smells so sad it’s hard to bear, but partly because Toothless’ scent is all over him. Toothless doesn’t mind the sad scent. He feels a kinship with Hookfang and, when they’re together, other dragons are more likely to leave him alone. 

Toothless asked, once, why Hookfang hasn’t left Berk. Hookfang told him that he wouldn’t abandon his Alpha, but Toothless didn’t believe him. Well, not totally. Hookfang is a loyal dragon, which is one of his larger strengths, but also his greatest downfall. Toothless thinks, just to himself, that Hookfang stays just in case his Snotlout comes back. Before, Toothless might have judged Hookfang for sticking around when it was only making him miserable, but he understands now. Because no matter how much it hurts, Toothless will wait for Hiccup to come back. No matter how long it takes. 

So Toothless is curled up underneath Hookfang’s neck, in the Nightmare’s stall once again, thinking about his options. Hookfang made his offer years ago, when Hiccup’s offspring greeted the world with too-loud lungs. Toothless never truly considered it, but now he does. Would a bond with Hookfang be so bad? Is he only considering it to combat the loneliness in his heart? Perhaps. But he knows that Hookfang knows what it’s like to have a human-shaped hole in his heart. Hookfang would never leave him. It may not be perfect, but it’s half of a happy ending. And half has to be better than nothing….

...right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/_Thursday_26)
> 
> I'm trying to keep up with my Twitter as much as I can! Please leave comment or a kudos! I love them all!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astrid and Hiccup talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is not a healthy relationship at all. It breaks my heart to see it and I actually adore Astrid, so please don't be too angry with her. There are all sorts of reasons for her hehavior and Hiccup is definitely no saint in this 
> 
> again this is my own personal beliefs! Heed the tags and this is still dark now, but the sun will soon come out!
> 
> PS. there is going to be two more chapters after this one posted! They're all kind of short so i thought maybe i could give you guys a little more!

That night, Astrid talks to Hiccup. They haven't directly spoken to one another in a few weeks, and that’s been working out just fine for them. And it isn’t too much of a request. All Astrid asks of Hiccup is to hold their son, but he refuses. Hiccup hasn’t held his son since that first celebration to welcome the new Hope and Heir. Astrid doesn’t argue. She doesn’t want to argue with Hiccup about this. She can’t find any fire in her heart to demand that Hiccup connect with their son, especially when she doesn’t have that connection herself. 

Sure, she has somewhat of a connection to him because she had to breastfeed him, but that was only for a bit. Not as long as he needed.They had to get a wet nurse for the boy because Astrid dried up. Some would call it a bad omen. She calls it her life now. That incident forced her to wonder: if the gods won’t give her the means to provide for her son as a mother should, should she even try to care for him? 

She hasn’t voiced that out loud, but it runs on a loop in her head. Gothi had reassured her that first pregnancies were different, that it isn’t surprising that she ran out of milk. Gothi promised that it would get easier with each subsequent pregnancy. That piece of information had bile rising in her throat.It was hard enough to conceive the first one. Astrid doesn’t want more. She can barely stand to look at Hiccup now; she does not want him to touch her. And she does not want to touch him. That hatred and aversion seems to go both ways. It appears that there’s an unspoken agreement between them that one child is more than enough. Maybe even one child too many. But neither of them will  _ say  _ it. 

Astrid sighs in annoyance, maneuvering the squirming child in her arms and moving the junk that’s accumulated in the child’s seat for some reason. Where does this crap even come from? It doesn’t take more than a minute to clear the spot and deposit the child there. He’s still squirming and babbling, obviously not seeing the death glare that Hiccup is giving him. She’s already opened the door for communication, so she feels compelled to continue to talk. Maybe it’s leftover affection. Misplaced, obviously. If it doesn’t go well, she can always kill him. “So the stables are looking good,” she continues. 

She sees Hiccup’s hands curl into fists on the table, his glare snapping to her. It is kind of frightening to see such a look on a face that used to always hold a smile. Although that feels like another lifetime that face ever existed. “But there’s a roof tile that’s going to need replacing.” 

Astrid can hear him breathing angrily. She’d compare it to a dragon, but she hasn’t seen a dragon as ill-tempered as Hiccup since the Red Death. Their son is still babbling, but quieter than before. “I’ll be getting in contact with Fishlegs for that repair. Tomorrow. See if he’s avail–”

“You don’t need to tell me every step of your plan,” Hiccup snaps. 

The silence that follows is cutting. The child has his head down and he’s keeping quiet. For some reason, that angers Astrid. Their son babbles often, trying to fill the sharp silences that are commonplace in the homestead, but seeing him silent shakes something loose inside Astrid. 

In a lot of ways, their son reminds her of Hiccup when he was younger. He’s a chubby little thing (a little bit of a shock considering his parents), with a head full of bright blond hair and a nose that’s growing to look a lot like Hiccup’s. A perfect combination of his parents. And so full of curiosity and light. Something that’s been lacking in the Haddock household for a long time. Their child is cute, she gets compliments all the time, but it doesn’t matter to her. Why is Hiccup so mad at her? She didn’t do anything, yet he blames her for something she can’t control. She  _ never  _ wanted her life to be like this. 

The anger is still red hot under her skin. “Toothless is with Hookfang again,” she states, venom in her words. She knows that it kills Hiccup to know that Toothless is with someone else. 

It works. Hiccup’s glare darkens, jaw tensing and eyes aflame. She smirks, satisfied. Hiccup opens and closes his fists and he takes a couple of deep breaths through his nose to calm down. Astrid doesn’t want him to calm down. She wants him to  _ hurt _ . And she knows exactly what will push him over the edge. “Stormfly told me that Toothless and Hookfang might bond.” 

His reaction is perfect, shooting out of his chair fast enough that the chair tips over and the heavy wood lands loudly on the floor. Their son whimpers at the noise, but doesn’t make another sound. Hiccup stares her down, trying to intimidate her with a look. She’s not that easily swayed though and she stares right back, challenging him to do something. Hiccup huffs after a few tense moments and stalks away. 

Astrid watches his back, triumphant. Screw Hiccup. Her happy ending was stolen from her, so she hopes that Hookfang steals Hiccup’s. No one else knows and Astrid has sworn on her honor to take it with her to the grave. She hates Hiccup, but she’d never besmirch her honor. 

In the early part of their relationship, when they still liked each other (those memories feel like the remnants of a particularly vivid dream), they both got drunk. Very drunk. Drunk enough to ease the pain of what they were being forced to do. Hiccup was a lightweight (still is, as far as Astrid knows) and Hiccup confessed to her that he could never love her fully. His heart belonged to another (still does, as far as Astrid knows). It didn’t take her drunken mind long to realize that he was waxing poetic about Toothless. 

That truth disgusted her at first, something completely outside her understanding. She swore to keep his secret, but demanded that Toothless’ slab be removed from their bedroom. That demand was some misguided attempt to blind herself to the truth. It didn’t work. Now, she doesn’t care what happened between Hiccup and Toothless. It’s not any of her business. And they haven’t spoken to each other in so long and have drifted apart. She’s not cruel enough to be blind to not see how much that distance has hurt them. That being said, she is cruel enough to rub that pain in Hiccup’s face when he’s being a dick. 

If she cares about either of them, it would be Toothless. She still has some affection for the Night Fury, despite what she knows. The changes in Toothless have concerned her for a long time. He’s become lethargic and his scales have dulled in color. They’re more of a washed-out dark gray than the deep black they’re supposed to be. He’s rarely seen away from Hookfang’s side, and she wonders if the Nightmare is the only reason he’s still able to move at all. Stormfly tells her stuff, but it seems too wild to consider. 

Hiccup, on the other hand, has developed a short temper and lashes out all the time. It’s easy to manipulate Hiccup into a fit. He’s never  raised a hand to her, but he has treated her awfully sometimes. She riles him up to remind him that she isn’t some docile housewife who will cater to his demands. He hates it, but he walks away from those confrontations. She tells Hiccup about flying, or talks about how Toothless appears to be moving on, but there’s one thing that she never brings up. It’s the Buffalord in the main room. Toothless’ saddle sits in a corner of their living room, near the slab that Toothless rarely uses anymore. Astrid can hardly bring herself to look at it. It’s a slick piece of Hiccup’s ingenuity and a reminder of the carefree, lovable soul that once created it. Now, it sits in that darkened corner, rotting. The leather is dried and cracked, neglected, with a layer of dust on it. Neither she nor Hiccup can bring themselves to touch it, so they both pretend it doesn’t exist. 

Astrid looks at her son again. Her son. She’s listened to other mothers talk about the joy they feel when they see their child smile or laugh, but everything he does grates on her nerves. She does feel bad for him; it’s not his fault that his parents’ lives are ruined, but even that empathy doesn’t stop the angry emotions that swell inside her. He must sense that anger because he doesn’t raise his head, still sitting quietly and as still as he can. It’s in moments like these that she’s grateful that Valka dotes on him, spoils him even. At least one Haddock is excited that he’s here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/_Thursday_26)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiccup makes a decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this chapter is SUPER SHORT but there's another one coming after this! <3 The sun is almost up!!!

Hiccup withdraws into himself over the next two days. He’s thinking. No one questions him or interrupts him, used to the new chief by now, Hiccup the Ruthless. The Berkians give him a wide berth, which he appreciates. He knows that the villagers are wondering what new policy he’ll be implementing, or which one will be terminated. Either way, he knows they expect a few hard weeks ahead of them. Can he even bring himself to care?

Then, an idea strikes, like a bolt of lightning. It’s perfect. At least, if the laws are what he thinks they are. 

He spins on his prosthetic and stalks to the archives, too heavy to run. He can feel wary gazes following him, but he doesn’t care: he has some research to do.

~ * ~ * ~

It is perfect. It’s absolutely perfect. There’s just a few things he needs to take care of before he can set his plan into motion. The first thing he has to do is get some parchment. He has a letter to write. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see what i mean by SUPER SHORT
> 
> [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/_Thursday_26)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Toothless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so there are two other chapters before this one that i posted today (cahpters 4 and 5!) make sure you see them before reading this one!

Toothless hasn’t left Hookfang’s side for the past week. Astrid has left some extra food for him, a small glimmer of empathy in her eye, even if Toothless can only smell anger on her. She doesn’t comment on how close Toothless and Hookfang have gotten, despite the fact that Stormfly is no doubt feeding her any information that she sees. Toothless never expected Astrid to get so cold, or so angry. She’s always had an edge to her, but it was never as malicious as it is now. 

That being said, Toothless has been thinking for the past week. His Hiccup must be lost, consumed by the bitterness that has festered for years. He wishes he could cry. Crying has always seemed to be so pointless to him, to see water leaking out of a human’s eyes, but now he wishes for it. His heart hurts. He wishes he could let some of the pain out, and crying seems to help the humans. If he doesn’t let the pain go, it’ll fester, and he’ll become a shadow of himself. 

Scenting Toothless’ despair, Hookfang nuzzles Toothless’ head, offering a low purr of comfort. It doesn’t soothe Toothless much. His insides are shattered, and the purr has offered some support to build them back up, but it’s all shaky at best. Maybe…

...maybe… 

...maybe solidifying a bond would right something inside him.

Toothless nuzzles back, rubbing his snout against a spot under Hookfang’s jaw. It’s a suggestive place and Hookfang freezes. The other dragons in the stable stop chattering and the stable goes silent as they watch.

Dragons aren’t as sexual as humans, but they do mate for pleasure. Ironically, they aren’t as prudish as humans either. Matings can occur whenever the “mood” strikes, out in the open, in front of others, anywhere. It doesn’t matter to dragons. Bondings are the same. Having witnesses is a good thing, almost encouraged, for two main reasons. One, to prevent unwanted bonds, especially between a larger and a smaller species of dragon, and two, dragons gossip more than any known creature. There is no need to make an announcement or a claim because every dragon will know by the time the bonding is over. 

Toothless’ bonding–the Alpha’s bonding–is an event that every dragon will want to watch. As far as Toothless knows, Alphas don’t bond with other dragons, and the succession of Alpha is passed to the challenger that defeats them. Alphas don’t die of old age (although Toothless has heard stories of an Alpha that was around for thousands of years that died of old age, naming her own successor, but Toothless is half-convinced it’s a hatchling’s tale). 

**_Are you sure_ ** , Hookfang asks, frozen in place. 

Toothless tries to reassure him without saying anything, but he can’t stop shaking. Pain floods through him at the thought of speaking of this bond out loud. It doesn’t make sense. It’s  _ not fair _ . Hookfang is  _ good enough; _ he’s a strong, suitable mate, and he will be able to provide for any hatchlings that are produced from their union. Hookfang is a good match. A smart match. All Toothless has to do is… forget about Hiccup. 

...can he really let Hiccup go? 

Can he let go of the flying that pushed even his limits? Can he forget the experiments? And can he forget the… watching Hiccup sleep because he snores sometimes and it reminds Toothless of a dragon’s purr? Sure, there’s been a lot of pain and grief recently, overwhelming pain and grief really, but can he let go of the happy memories too?

Toothless pauses. 

Can he do that? 

Toothless closes his eyes and swallows the lump in his throat. He has to do it. Holding out for Hiccup has only given him heartbreak. He doesn’t deserve more heartbreak. 

Before Toothless can tell Hookfang that yes, he’s sure, he hears familiar footsteps. One step is a heavy boot, the other a clank of metal against the ground and the tiniest squeak from a spring. Toothless’ eyes shoot open and he looks to the entrance of the stall. He hasn’t heard those footsteps in forever, and he can’t dare to hope… it can’t be… 

_...Hiccup.  _

There’s something different about him. His shoulders are looser and there’s a small, tired smile on his face. And he greets Toothless with a watery, “Hey, bud.” 

He shouldn’t. Toothless knows he shouldn’t. But those two words are like a balm for his soul. He whines and wiggles, too afraid to approach Hiccup first. He doesn’t know if he’d survive Hiccup pulling away from him again. 

Hiccup steps into the stall and stops an arm’s length away. There’s something in his eyes, a light that’s been missing for years. Toothless aches, every part of him. It’s Hiccup. It’s  _ his _ Hiccup. He’s in there. He’s  _ here _ . 

Then Hiccup closes his eyes and holds out his hand.

Toothless presses his nose into Hiccup’s hand before it’s fully extended. Hiccup laughs, a broken sound that is simultaneously heartbreaking and uplifting. He brings his other hand up to Toothless’ face and leans down. Toothless wiggles closer and starts nuzzling Hiccup’s face, covering him with the scent of Night Fury, like he’s supposed to. While he’s doing that, Hiccup is laughing and smiling, tears running down his face. “I missed you too, bud.” The choked-out words are so simple, but they rebuild every shattered part inside Toothless. Those words hold so much more depth than the deepest parts of the ocean, more light than the brightest stars in the sky. Toothless’ heart fills with warmth and he starts to feel alive. This. This, right here, is where Toothless belongs. 

All they can do is focus on one another. It’s only been a couple of years, but, to Toothless, it feels like he’s suffered a lifetime without Hiccup by his side. By the way Hiccup is acting, Toothless can guess that Hiccup feels the same.  He knows that even if he has to suffer for another couple of years, he will stay in this moment, where Hiccup is focused entirely on him. 

When they finally pull away from one another, Toothless is reminded of Hookfang. He looks back to the Nightmare, guilty. He knows he shouldn’t have offered a mating, or a bonding, with Hookfang. His heart… his heart belongs to Hiccup and he can’t change that. 

Hookfang doesn’t look upset though. In fact, he looks relieved to see them together. There’s a bitter edge to the happiness, but Toothless can guess that it’s for the continued absence of his own rider, while Toothless gets to have his own human back. 

Hookfang excuses himself, leaving Toothless and Hiccup in his stall, allowing them some privacy. Or as much as they can get in the stable, surrounding by nosy, gossipy dragons. All the dragons are watching with rapt attention, but Toothless only notices it on the edges of his awareness. He’s mostly focused on Hiccup. 

They nuzzle and cuddle together, needing to be close to one another, needing that familiarity. When they finally start to calm down, Hiccup leans in close to his ear and whispers, “I have a plan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so Hiccup has some pretty good timing, eh? 
> 
> [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/_Thursday_26)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Aftermath, a few years later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so this always makes me happy! and the next will be happy as well!

Astrid smiles when she hears her son call “Mama!” now, a burst of joy, swelling in her chest. She finally understands those other mothers and wonders how she could have been so hateful all those years ago.

Hrein has grown so much. He is just as smart as his father, just as kind, with a tendency towards clumsiness, but he has his mama’s temper, and a natural ability to handle an axe. Although Heather has forbidden them from axe throwing lessons for the foreseeable future. It wasn’t even that dangerous! Heather’s being overprotective.

Things… things have gotten better. Astrid didn’t realize how dark Berk was, all those years ago. She never associated Berk with being a dark place, and she never thought she would, but that’s all she can think of when she thinks about Hiccup the Ruthless’ reign as chief. Not that Hiccup was a poor chief, not by any means, but the world lacked color. Berk already lacks color, so to find it more drab is saying something.

Hiccup, the brilliant genius that he is, executed the perfect plan; the plan that benefitted Berk the best.

That Morning, known as grár ár (1) now, there was mass panic come sunrise. Berk’s chief had disappeared without a trace. Until they found the letters. When those were found, the panic turned to ire. At least, the council’s panic turned to ire. With the Hope and Heir too young to take on the mantle of chief, Hiccup named Astrid as Chief Interim, until Hrein wanted to take on the mantle or until the day she joined Valhalla. Hiccup’s words were binding; the council couldn’t do anything to refute their chief’s orders.

The first thing that Astrid did was find out who thought marrying her and Hiccup was a good idea and booted them from the council. A little petty, she admits, but it wasn’t the only reason to boot those men. The men complained, but they couldn’t do much as Astrid expertly maneuvered within Berkian law to get them off the council. She rebuilt the council almost from the ground up and now it’s much more diverse, a pleasant harmony of male and female voices, young and old. Astrid is proud of her council.

Hiccup also specified all his property to either to Valka or Astrid, as they could decide between themselves who needed what most. Valka had a hard time adjusting to the loss of her son again, but she knew he was happier, wherever he was, and vowed to stay on Berk, learning about her son through her grandson and the stories from those who were closest to him. She also started apprenticing under Gothi, Cloudjumper always at her side.

All the tedious legal stuff was in a letter addressed to the council, and Astrid and Valka got copies, just in case. Gobber too. Then each of them got their own, personal letter. Hiccup thanked Gobber for everything he taught him, told Gobber that he was sorry for leaving without saying goodbye. He thanked Gobber for always being there for him, another, unofficial parent that he always looked up to and would miss every day. He apologized to Valka for leaving so soon after they reunited, but he explained how miserable he was on the ground in hopes of garnering some form of understanding. The thing is, Valka had already forgiven Hiccup (if he needed forgiveness) before she read her letter. She hopes that Hiccup knows that.

Astrid received the longest letter, riddled with angrily crossed out words and tear stains. He apologized to her for his hatred towards her, and for his hatred towards their son. He apologized for being unable to stop the marriage in the first place, and then for how he failed to maintain a friendship with her, for allowing his own selfish thoughts to cloud over everything that made him a good person. He asked her to apologize to Fishlegs for him for leaving, for not leaving an explanation (he had ran out of paper, so Fishlegs couldn’t get his own letter). He also left an enclosed letter for Hrein, for when he’s older, if Astrid wishes to give it to him.

Astrid, thinking back on the hatred she felt for Hiccup, thought she would never, ever have a good thing to say about him. But… Hiccup leaving Berk… it shattered whatever curse was hanging over it. It’s like Hiccup leaving was the first ray of sunlight that was able to finally hit Berk. And she hadn’t realized how cold it had been until that moment.

A few weeks after Hiccup’s disappearance, when everyone was still in a frenzy–people were torn between anger or grief, unable to reconcile that their chief would just leave them–Heather showed up on Berk. By boat. Astrid was confused, excited, and scared to see her. A little of her confusion lifted when she saw the red-headed infant in Heather’s arms. Windshear may be gentle, and would never harm a child, but Astrid knows taking a child on dragonback isn’t the safest thing. (Astrid wouldn’t let Hrein on dragonback until he was four, which was one of the main arguments Astrid had with Valka. Valka would have a child on dragonback out of the womb, but they resolved that amongst themselves.) Windshear was still with her, napping on deck, entirely relaxed and barely lifting her head to greet Astrid.

Heather introduced the little girl as Ansy. She had been found one day, alone and crying, and Heather had adopted her when no one claimed her. After introductions, Heather had cried, apologizing to Astrid for how horrible she reacted all those years ago. She had been able to tell Astrid, through her tears, that the reason for her visit was a letter from Hiccup, dropped onto her doorstep one morning. He had detailed some of his plan, but the letter was mostly a plea for Heather to talk to Astrid, to maybe try again. Astrid cried as well. She never told Hiccup who broke her heart, but that damn bastard seemed to figure everything out. Maybe that was the moment that Astrid felt love for Hiccup again, and all that bitter resentment had started to fade away.

Astrid and Heather reconciled and decided to raise their children together, Astrid finally able to see Hrein as a blessing and not a curse. She spent an inordinate amount of time doting on her son, as if to atone for her behavior. Valka accepted Heather with open arms and welcomed Ansy like a granddaughter. Astrid was, and still technically is, married to Hiccup, but the gods have cursed their union. She doesn’t feel guilt when she looks at Heather and feels love coursing through her, the love that she should have felt for her husband. Maybe she should. No, it’s worth it. If she’s to be punished, she will suffer an eternity to see that loving smile on Heather’s face.

Hookfang stayed on Berk, watching his old rider, but not like he used to. He seems to still be waiting for the old Snotlout, the one that lived on the Edge, but nothing has changed. Instead, Hookfang has refused to waste away in the stables anymore. He watches over Hrein and Ansy, calm and content, two words he would never think to associate with himself, but the Nightmare protects those children like they are his own hatchlings. And the children love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know what you think about this! Comments and kudos are always appreciated! 
> 
>  
> 
> [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/_Thursday_26)
> 
> Edit (edited): (1) [ grár ár ](https://www.vikingsofbjornstad.com/Old_Norse_Dictionary_N2E.shtm#h) [allegedly] means "grey morning" when I use the linked dictionary and mash words together :) I totally forgot to add it the first time, too excited to get the work out first! But this is a bunch of fun, old Norse words. Idk how accurate, but it's definitely a go to for me


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to our favorite boys <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, i promised nine parts, and i promise there is an epilogue, but i promised a happy ending and this is the happy ending! the epilogue is going to be a separate part that I post today as well, for anyone who wonders what on earth i could do after this wild ride! 
> 
> do i have to give a warning for "suggestive" content? Can't we assume that if I'm wriring Hictooth there's always going to be some sexual undertones

Hiccup is jostled awake by Toothless and he groans. He sleeps under Toothless’ wing every night now, and Toothless never fails to wake earlier than Hiccup would like. They have barely been apart since they left Berk and Hiccup loves it, but Toothless can’t wake up without waking up Hiccup as well. Hiccup cracks open an eye and watches Toothless yawn and stretch a few paces away, shaking his wings a couple of times. He’s naked, his saddle and tail fin carefully stored for the night. Hiccup knows Toothless sleeps better with his equipment off. 

Hiccup is naked, too, and starting to shiver from the cool morning air. They don’t have a lot of supplies with them, a blanket not included on that list. Not that Hiccup needs a blanket. Not when he has Toothless to keep him warm at night.The next shiver he feels is one of pleasure, remembering how their nights have gone since they left. Remembering how last night went. 

Toothless saunters over to their supplies and gathers Hiccup’s clothes for him. Hiccup smiles. He looks up at the sky, the clouds colored pink and orange from the sunrise. Today is going to be nice: he can smell it. He wonders if they should spend the day here or if they should continue to fly.

Hiccup has lost track of how long they’ve been away from Berk. He has a journal, and he used to keep notes of where they had been, trying to draw a map. But… the further they flew from Berk, the less inclined Hiccup felt to document everything. Who was he writing in his journal for? He had no plans to go back. Eventually, his notes changed from marking islands and distance, to being filled with notes on dragons. Everything he learned was meticulously detailed and he would read by firelight sometimes, reabsorbing the information. 

The days don’t matter anymore. Time has blended together. The only thing that matters is him and Toothless, together. Hiccup’s eyes drop to his partner, who is trying his best not to get his saliva all over Hiccup’s clothes, and his heart fills with warmth. It’s all-consuming. It feels like the flame of a Night Fury where his heart should be. This feeling, this warmth, prevents Hiccup from feeling guilty about leaving Berk. Was it selfish of him to leave like he did? Perhaps, but he doesn’t care. Hiccup can’t remember the last time he’s felt this good. The only time that can compare is the first successful flight he had with Toothless. He feels that euphoria every day. Maybe he’ll go back to Berk, just to see how the village has changed under Astrid’s rule. But the thought of returning makes his stomach turn. If he ever returns, it’ll be far enough in the future that it’s pointless to worry about it now. 

Toothless looks better too. He almost looks younger. Hiccup can’t know for sure, but he knows that Toothless is happy. Toothless meanders back to Hiccup, clothes in his maw, eyes brightening when he sees that Hiccup is awake. Hiccup smiles in response. He always wakes up when Toothless wakes up, but Toothless reacts every day like seeing Hiccup is a gift. It’s humbling. 

Hiccup opens his arms, encouraging Toothless to come in close, and greets him with a small purr. Toothless drops the clothes and nuzzles Hiccup’s face, purring in response. Hiccup presses his face into Toothless’ cheek, his smile splitting his face. Another emotion fills his body, but Hiccup can hardly explain it. It leaves him light and content and makes him wonder if any of this is real. He almost feels like he’s living outside of reality and it’s perfect.

This… 

This isn’t what Hiccup expected his life to be.

But this is everything Hiccup could have ever wanted. 

Out here, with his mate, he feels limitless. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate every single person who has read this and everyone who has left comments and everyone who has left kudos! It really means a lot to me! Let me know what you think! and more kudos are always appreciated! 
> 
> [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/_Thursday_26)


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